


Young and Cold

by imthederpyfox



Series: Sanders sides [1]
Category: Sanders Sides, Thomas Sanders
Genre: AU, Angst, Child Abuse, Child Care, Childhood, Children, Im too mean to virgil, Loneliness, Memories, Multi, Orphanage, Other, Past, Patton is a good bean, Roman is so extra, Tags will need to be updated, The others may not be in for a while, carers, homeless, some darker themes, sorry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-19
Updated: 2018-03-05
Packaged: 2019-02-04 04:01:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,776
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12762729
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imthederpyfox/pseuds/imthederpyfox
Summary: Virgil has never known a home, his trust is broken, his heart won't let him love anymore, and he's on the brink of giving up.Can the 16 year old hold on and try to get his life back on track, or will it be too late to even try?Ok so this is a terrible description, but basically I don't want to give too much away, let's just say Virgil's had a rough life and we get to see what that entails





	1. Is this the end?

**Author's Note:**

> Had this idea while watching children in need yesterday, thought it'd be a good story so here it is!
> 
> \- thorns should be updated in the next few days hopefully, sorry for the delay! Been super busy with uni work because of a deadline -
> 
> Feedback is always welcomed, I hope you guys like this as much as the other stories, and let me know if anyone wants to request anything

So cold...

After a while, you become numb to the feeling of being abandoned.   
After a while, you get used to being thrown back to where you were before.  
After a while, everything settles and your heart no longer breaks when the people you thought loved you, leave you yet again.  
After a while, you can imagine the cold that settles inside you can chill your mind and heart from racing, and numb the pain of your sorry excuse for a life...

He looked up, looking into the brown eyes that looked into his own.   
"I wish I could tell you any of that is true..." 

\------------

Why was it so cold?   
The strange thing right now was that this wasn't the most important question. The real questions that plagued his mind were much more menial.   
'Why is every snow flake different? Surely there must have been two identical ones by now...'  
'Why does the smell of hotdogs spread so far?'  
And the worst one of all, the one that had been plaguing his mind for the past month, the one he hadn't let himself think of for the past two years until now.   
'Why am I still putting up a fight, when I can give up and let go and not have to worry about anything anymore?'   
He closed his eyes tiredly, letting his head lul back against the shop window he sat outside, rubbing his gloved hands together as a plume of steam escaped his mouth.   
It was only the beginning of October, how was it so cold already? It had begun snowing the night before, though thankfully it hadn't settled. But it would soon. And the winters were the worst.   
How could everyone pass by so easily, ignoring the fact he was sat there, holes in his clothes, freezing and shivering and oh so hungry... And not even bat an eye as they spoke on their phones on their way to meetings, or drank their expensive fancy coffees on their way to wherever the fuck... There was nothing more he could do, he had had to sell his guitar for the shelter he had stayed in for a couple months in order to get himself back on his feet, that was half a year ago.   
And once again as he got ignored and as someone kicked a few stones at him, he asked himself that question again.   
He wouldn't have to worry about the cold, or the wet, or the hunger. He wouldn't have to worry about never being able to find a home or a job or someone to love him. Though truth be told he had given up on that a while ago, even before this happened. He didn't know why he held on. He knew if he gave up and let his spirits drop anymore, he'd be dead within an hour or so. Somehow his persistence on living had kept him alive as long as it had.   
He wasn't sure if he should be thankful for furious.   
But all he ever felt was the numb pain of too many emotions and not enough all at once. And the main one being anxiety.   
It had to be, it was drilled into his head his entire life, he had been sculpted by it and he had become almost the living embodiment of the emotion.   
He didn't trust people, how could he? So many had told him they loved him, said they'd take care of him, then cast him aside because he wasn't perfect.   
So many people had told him they'd find him somewhere warm, somewhere safe, and then sent him to another place just the same as the one before.  
So many people had made him trust in them, despite not wanting to, and then ripped that trust away with a little piece of his heart each time.  
How could he trust anyone after that?   
He couldn't. And didn't.   
Shuffling slightly in his spot, he attempted to curl his legs closer to his chest, though he doubted that was possible. He could feel his ribs poke into his legs and sighed, what he wouldn't give for some food right now... But nobody would care. Of course they wouldn't...   
He sighed. He knew it. He'd been biding his time but today was the day. He knew it was, there was a nice crisp feeling in the air as if snow would fall that night, the sky still held the faint outline of the moon in the late morning sky, and there was a strange calm feeling in the air.   
All of those things fascinated him, the lack of noise from bustling businessmen and tired students, the idea of the fascinating snow falling softly, getting heavier as the day drew on, and of course the stars. How he loved them. Oh so much... They were an escape. And God knows he needed that.   
Giving another sigh, he let his head drop to his kneecaps - this was it. This is what he wanted his last moments to be. It wouldn't get much better...   
He let his breathing even out, his lungs slowly fill and then empty, concentrating on the sound of the faint music he could hear only slightly from the inside of the shop. He let the cold seep in, he let it attack him. It wouldn't be long now... The hunger pains had returned, the shaking feeling also.   
He didn't understand how he seemed to have the power to decide when he would die, but he didn't care enough to question it. He guessed when you have nothing the only thing you can rely on for anything is yourself. Nobody else will help you...  
Nobody...  
The blackness was taking over...   
Nothing...  
Just focus on that and you'll soon be warm, you'll soon have food, and a bed, and friends, and family and you won't ever be abandoned or left alone or unloved again...  
He could almost feel it, the warmth settling in just under his skin, prickling at his fingers as he drifted further and further away from the street and the music and the cold...  
And then...

 

 

"Kid? Kid. Kid, wake up."


	2. A friendly face

"Kid? Kid. Kid, wake up."  
He looked up at whoever it was that was talking. He doubted it was about him, though he felt a small nudge on his shoulder.   
He looked at the man who knelt in front of himself, brown eyes sat behind glasses and looked right back at him.   
"Ah... Look if you're gonna beat me up could you like, give me a minute to get into the recovery position?" Virgil asked, going to move round so he was laying on the floor.   
The man stopped him. "No, no... I'm with Pattontly Care Service, we help young people with different things... Would you mind coming back to the building with me?"   
Virgil took a moment to take in the man's appearance, no more than mid-late twenties, dressed in a smart jacket which appeared to hold a black shirt underneath with a blue tie, light brown trousers and sensible shoes. He offered Virgil a small smile, though it seemed comfort wasn't exactly his expertise.   
"Why...?" Virgil asked, why would some random agency wanna talk to him?   
"Well I'd like to talk to you about your situation. We help people like you and I believe in attempting to help as many people as we can." He stated, matter-o-factly, before holding out his hand.   
Virgil hesitated. He didn't trust him. Well, he didn't trust anybody, but that was besides the point. Still... If it meant being inside somewhere warm for a while...   
He took the offered hand and stood with the man.   
"Who are you...?" He asked as they began walking.   
"I'm Logan, and yourself?" The man answered, taking Virgil down the streets.   
"Not important..." Virgil answered, he hated giving his name out.   
\------------  
They soon arrived at a small but like building. If was made of wood and seemed fairly run down, though not from lack of attention.   
The sign outside stated the title Logan had given him earlier 'Pattontly Care Service', with a graphic of a tree and small handprints making up the leaves in different colours.   
He looked at the area this building was in. The area was a lot bigger and the hut looked somewhat hour of place on the street, though there only seemed to be houses and a couple of corner shops and possibly a post office nearby.   
"Welcome, come on in." Logan smiled, fairly certain Virgil had taken every detail in as he seemed like a curious and cautious boy. "This is the main room." Logan continued, walking past reception after nodding to the receptionist. The man took his jacket off and hung it up, turning to look at Virgil who in turn was awkwardly stood looking around the room.   
The room was fairly small, with desks in the centre, multiple child-like drawing around the outside though some seemed more professional. From the ceiling hung colourful decorations and there were quite a few kids in the room, ranging from as young as 3 to as old as 13 he'd say.   
"This is not the main building, the next stage will be done in a few days." Logan informed him, before saying hello to some of the children, who all greeted him with enthusiasm.   
"Who's the new guy?" A small girl asked.   
"Valerie, is that any way to greet someone new?" Logan asked, giving a smile and the girl - Valerie - shrugged.   
"Sorry, L."   
"Why don't we go through to the quieter part?"   
Virgil followed Logan through the room to the other side, observing on his way the tiny kitchen unit that was in a smaller room to one side, a small toilet and that was seemingly it.   
They sat at a table with two sofas either side, it was behind a wall but was still open to the room. Virgil hesitated at the edge of the seat, only sitting when Logan motioned for him to.   
"Do not worry, the kids will not bother us for the moment. I just wanted to ask you a few questions."   
"I could say the same to you..." Virgil mumbled, fiddling with the sleeves of his jacket.   
"I understand that. Now, in order to help I'm afraid I must ask for your name."   
"It's... Virgil." The boy answered, staring down at the table.   
"A nice name, very unique. Well as I have said before I am Logan, I am a worker here. We basically help young people like yourself who have wound up without family to help them, for various reasons. We look into helping them recover any past trauma, learn how to make it in the world and generally are here as support through most things." Logan explained.   
"So it's actually your job to deal with damaged goods...?" Virgil mumbled.   
"Well, I suppose you could say that. We all have our issues, Virgil. Now, how old are you?"   
"16."  
"How long have you been on the streets, Virgil?"  
"I guess two years... Since I was 14ish." Virgil didn't look at Logan. He didn't know why he was opening up but if it meant getin somewhere to stay for the night or something along those lines he'd have to push through.   
"Are there any reasons why?" Logan asked, jotting things down.   
"I couldn't get a job. Nobody wants someone without experience."  
"I see... How come you were having to look for a job so early?"   
"The orphanages didn't want me so I had to." Virgil deadpanned, making it a point to stare Logan down. Logan nodded, somewhat understandingly.   
"Virgil, I know it can seem easier to hide your emotions behind sarcasm and a harsh attitude, but do not worry, you can be real with me. I myself struggle with emotions so if anything I am trustworthy with other people's true feelings."  
"Yeah well, I'm not exactly an open person..." Virgil answered. "Soooo... Do I pass the test or...?" He trialed off, his sarcasm hitting against a brick wall apparently. Though Logan smiled.  
"Of course. Well, as we get to know each other more I am sure I will learn more about you. As for now, how about we get you something to eat?"  
Virgil perked up slightly though attempted to hide it. Logan smiled and pushed his glasses up his nose.   
"I'm afraid until the other building is opened we only have ready microwave meals and things like crisps and other snacks, but let us see what we can find that you enjoy." Logan stood and Virgil followed him, and soon he was holding a plate with a tuna sandwich, a bag of prawn cocktail crisps and a waggon wheel on it.   
Logan motioned for him to find a place to sit down, and Virgil scanned the room, deciding to sit in the corner near the sofas from before, away from the other kids. He slowly began eating and Logan smiled, going to the other kids to see how they were getting along and checking in with the other care workers. He glanced over every so often at Virgil, he didn't know why, but he had a feeling this kid was something special.


	3. Patton

"Logan do you have that paperwor- OH HI!" A new man walked in now, noticing Virgil strait away and making his way over with the biggest smile on his face.   
"Yes. And Virgil, this is Patton, the owner and creator of this company." Logan explained as Patton placed his hands on his hips and beamed happily.   
"It's a pleasure to meet you Virgil! Oh what an awesome name! How long have you been here kiddo?" Patton practically yanked Virgil to his feet with his optimism and that bright smile and shining eyes.   
"I-uh... A-about half an hour... I guess...?" Virgil answered, accepting Patton's extended hand shake and rubbing the back of his own neck out of nervousness.   
"Oh that's great! Why don't we have a small chat? Would you like to sit on the sofas or I could take me, you and Logan down to my tiny little office?" Patton smiled, kindly, seeming to calm himself down a bit seeing how nervous Virgil was.   
A bunch of kids had come over and tackled the man's legs and tugged at his top, screaming his name and seeming so happy that he was here.   
"Hey there kiddos! Are we having fun today?" Patton smiled and the kids all chorused happy answers. Virgil wanted nothing more than to sink away out the door while the others were distracted, but it was cold out there and he noticed Logan trying to keep his eye on him. "Ok, ok, I'll be back soon to play! You all know the rules, I gotta look after the new kiddos!" Patton laughed, and the kids all ran back to what they were doing. "Sorry about that, Virgil." Patton smiled.   
"C-call me V." Virgil answered, trying not to seem too anxious as he pulled his sleeves over his hands more.   
"Of course, V! So, where should we have this talk?" That dazzling smile was still there.  
"Uh... I-uh I don't know..." Virgil answered, biting his lip.   
"I believe the quieter location of your office should be more sufficient in helping to relax Virg-V. We should make him as comfortable as possible." Logan interrupted, attempting to help as he held one of the kids on his hip who had refused to leave his side.   
"Logan can I try your glasses?" The kid asked, he only one one front tooth and he made grabby hands for the glasses the other had on his nose.   
"Terrence, we are having a meeting right now." Logan answered.   
The kid gave a cheeky grin and turned his attention to Virgil. "I'm Terrence!" The kid beamed happily and held out a paint covered hand for a fist bump.   
"V." Virgil answered, giving the kids hand a tiny fist bump, which the small child beamed at and laughed happily before Logan let him back down and he ran back over to the kid Virgil remembered as Valery.   
"Sorry about that kiddo, these champs tend to get over excited at the end of the week!" Patton explained, taking out what appeared to be car keys. "Come on, let's go have that talk!"   
Patton walked off and Virgil looked to Logan for exploration and earned a smirk and an adjust of the glasses before Logan was following Patton. Virgil took a deep breathe and shook his head slightly.   
He didn't have to trust them... He could just follow them and see what happened.   
He shouldn't trust anyone.   
Definitely not.   
He sighed and followed after Logan and Patton.


End file.
